When I tiptoe to the house, high as a kite
I'd rather face a tiger than to face my wife
She's the no sleepin'est woman I ever did see
When I hit the doorstep she knows it's me

With my shoes in my hand, I'm careful too
It makes no difference, it's "honey, is that you?"
She's the no sleepin'est woman I ever did see
When I hit the doorstep she knows it's me

Well I like to play around sometime with my friend
But when I go home I'm afraid to go in
She thinks my head is a rubber ball
It's the same old story from summer to fall

She knows I'm sick, and a little tight
But I gotta prepare for a all night fight
She's the no sleepin'est woman I ever did see
When I hit the doorstep she knows it's me

Well I like to play around sometime with my friend
But when I go home I'm afraid to go in
She thinks my head is a rubber ball
It's the same old story from summer to fall

She knows I'm sick, and a little tight
But I gotta prepare for a all night fight
She's the no sleepin'est woman I ever did see
When I hit the doorstep she knows it's me

She's the no sleepin'est woman I ever did see
I give her some pills and she trick poor me
No sleepin'est woman that I ever did see